Many lifetimes before have been dedicated to the creative power.

In this life, my path is dedicated to remembering: retrieving, restoring, and embodying this power, giving it form in art and ritual, and guiding others on their own path of remembrance

As a child, I felt a deep connection to both the seen and unseen worlds, and from the very beginning, my life was intertwined with the nature around me. I spent hours outside in the garden or the woods, observing insects, animals, trees, and plants, feeling a profound connection to the seasons and the rhythms of the earth. At the same time, my creative fire found its way effortlessly: I drew and painted, wrote endless stories, played musical instruments, danced, lived in dress-up boxes, and moved through the world as a silent observer.

Within the school system, there was little room for my sensitivity, my way of learning, and my creative expression. Combined with traumatic experiences in my youth, I learned to increasingly adapt to external expectations. The idea that a creative path was possible felt out of reach. Driven by hard work and the suppression of my own creative power, I eventually chose to study law.

I began with a Bachelor of Laws (HBO) and, after obtaining my first-year diploma, continued my path at the university. There, I obtained my Bachelor of Laws (LLB) and subsequently completed my Master of Laws (LLM) in Criminal Law. Driven by my interest in the human psyche, I also completed a minor in criminology, delving into legal psychology, forensic psychiatry, and psychology. I participated in unique projects, including a cold case under the guidance of Peter van Koppen (emeritus professor of Legal Psychology), and gained work experience within the judiciary, among other places.

Gradually, it became increasingly clear that my vision of life and my values clashed with the (criminal) justice system, and my body began to send increasingly loud signals. I functioned seemingly well on willpower and adaptation, but I carried complex PTSD with me and lived from a state of 'functional freeze'.

Until I could no longer go on.

I lost my footing and had to learn to trust again: in myself and in life. Long COVID brought my body to a definitive standstill. What felt like a physical collapse proved in hindsight to be a necessary ‘death’ in the cycle of my life.

A year of rehabilitation tore down the walls of my survival mechanisms and exposed the deeper layers of my trauma. I could no longer ‘do’; I could only ‘be’. In this forced deceleration, I had to rebuild my entire foundation. I learned that my strength could no longer stem from survival and willpower, but that a 'bedding' of rest, boundaries, and true presence was required.

Only from that stillness could my creative flow begin to recover in a healthy way.